OURSELVES
by LePetitPappillon
Summary: Morganite had come to the beach. The ocean lapped at her ankles. The froth and the salt stuck to her legs, and slowly, she forced herself into the cold water, emptying her body of air so she could sink to the sea floor and try to locate the Warrior Queen. And Lapis.
1. Chapter 1

Morganite lied flat on the floor, amongst her towers of Japanese language books, novels, and manga she could not yet read. Forming the base of one of those columns were at least three different volumes on kanji alone, each purchased with a promise written in false gold on cheap paper that, with _this_ book, she would be able to become proficient in reading. It was the same optimism that led her to buy several other books written entirely in Japanese that now composed sections of those towers.

They were so much larger than her from the floor. The stacks looked like skyscrapers.

Morganite's finger touched the unlined paper of her journal. She had a pen in her right hand as well, but the cap remained on. At that moment, she brought it to her lips and bit down hard with her teeth. The plastic shell of her blue ink pen grew a couple of indentations. The cicadas hollered outside.

Entry 1: I've elected to record my adventures here on Earth inside this journal. I figure it might help me keep my thoughts together and perhaps even maintain some level of sanity since there are no other gems in this country (at least to my knowledge). It's my fourth day here and I'm experiencing plenty of culture shock, but I still feel somewhat optimistic. From what I can tell, my powers don't work on humans. I've brushed hands with a few of them and even ran into them on the street, but the result was nothing more than just a bump. Maybe this planet will be the perfect place for me after all.

Those thin pink fingers flipped through a few more pages and before the ex-aristocrat began to read again; her teeth left a few more scars along the body of her pen. The light changed from the window, and her eyes, with all of their multicolored facets, caught a pile of her drawings sitting in a corner across the room.

The colored pencils were in a haphazard, offensive pile that needed to be picked up, but Morganite's level of motivation left her stranded in the center of the carpet. She could barely coerce her hand into writing. All her right fingers could do was bend up the corner of the page she had stopped on as the light rained down from the window and slowly washed out the solid black letters.

Entry 15: It's been about two months and I'm having a hard time adjusting. The novelty of this country is wearing off, and this seems to be something of a blessing and a curse. Some things I'm getting used to. For instance, I quite like the candy here. There are so many different kinds, and there are quite a few flavors too—some that are very unique to Japan (Like cherry blossom flavored chocolate). Though, at the same time, it's hard not to be homesick. The technology is primitive, something that would certainly drive Peridot mad if she had to contend with it. I thought I might be fine since I find such things to be quaint, but the adjustment is proving to be more difficult than I imaged at first. So is the language. I have a fairly decent background in linguistics from numerous different planets, but Japanese is proving to be quite a challenge. It's amazing how much time I've poured into studying kanji alone, and I only know about a fourth of the characters I need to be able to read. I don't understand how this writing system came to be this way and why the Japanese people elected to keep it, but it truly is quite frustrating.

I think I might feel better about things if I had a friend. Much of my time is spent in this apartment, by myself. My mind always goes back to Jasper during periods like this. My only hope is that she be alive and well, and that Yellow Diamond hasn't had her executed for going against orders and sparing my life. Some days I miss her terribly. Even so, I've decided to remain optimistic. If Homeworld attempts to gain control of this planet, I may very well see her again, somehow. I might need to hide myself. Sometimes I forget I'm a refugee. But I would be happy if we were able to meet again, even if it was only briefly. I want to thank her, and not even just that, but see that she's doing well. I miss the sound of her voice.

Morganite sighed and turned the pages.

Entry 32: It seems that in my solitude I've become obsessed with reviewing the events that lead to my exile here on earth. Because of this, my mind has been clouded with images of both Lapis and Jasper. I've come to the conclusion that if I hadn't lied for Lapis' sake, I would likely still be on Homeworld, perhaps slightly miserable under Yellow Diamond's command, but definitely happier than how I am now. I've been sleeping a lot lately. There's not much else I can do with no friends and little motivation. In my dreams, I keep finding disturbing images of both Lapis and Jasper, locked in a watery prison together, fighting. Is this supposed to happen when one dreams? I've never slept this often in my life, but I'm beginning to worry. This doesn't seem normal.

I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't have helped her. I'm certain Yellow Diamond would have found some other reason to order my execution; she's never liked me all that much. But I still can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Maybe I should try to go outside a little more and befriend some of the humans wondering around out there…

Morganite sucked in her lips and turned through the journal until the text stopped and there was nothing but blank pages. They were full of potential, but she continued to chew on the pen cap. The ex-aristocrat even set the tip against the first line of the next lank page, but the ink only collected beneath the pressure of the pen being pushed into the paper. The only thing Morganite wrote was a large blue spot.

The color was more optimistic than it had any right to be.

From it she produced:

 _Entry 68:_

Pause. The cicadas just kept on screaming so loudly, they might as well have been directly in her apartment, in a huge tree that broke the ceiling, centimeters from her face.

A bead of sweat rolled along the curve of her cheek.

 _I don't know what more I have to say._

The expanse of pages were beginning to look like fields of snow. They went on forever, without any other colors of anything at all. Just barren deserts of off-white frost that captured her eyes and did not allow them to leave.

A few more words:

 _I miss Homeworld. I miss my few friends. I wish I could go back, but I probably never will._

Before the ink dried, she closed the book and tore herself from the floor before any more time could pass.


	2. Chapter 2

There was another dream. Morganite drifted in waves of tranquilizing sleep to find herself at the bottom of a dark ocean. From inside the black currents appeared four eyes and a huge mouth filled with jagged teeth. There were footprints, and as soon as the murky waters changed to bluish-green, Morganite opened her eyes and found herself inside her inescapable apartment yet again.

Now it was six in the morning and she sat at her table, those bright colored pencils making lines in orange and red. The TV spoke in difficult Japanese. The words were like machine gun fire and the foreigner was to catch the rounds in her open palms.

She was actually doing okay.

A few more lines came onto the page. Then a sharp pain from deep inside her head furrowed her heavy brows.

" _I've had the tar beaten out of me so many times."_

A memory.

She and Jasper were sitting in a field—the same field where they used to train together. They took a short break as the little aristocrat caught her breath, and the sky turned champagne pink and tangerine orange and brilliant gold.

" _I know how it feels to be weak. It's frustrating. But if you're determined, you can get stronger."_

" _But—"_ The little pink one leaned a bit closer to her knees. _"Do you think I'm getting stronger?"_

" _What do you think?"_

And then, for only a moment, Morganite heard Jasper screaming.

The vision only lasted a few seconds in real time, but Morganite returned to her living room with shaking palms and jet lag. The television kept speaking to her as if she had gone absolutely nowhere, and a droplet of saltwater made a cameo onto her sketchbook.

The woman on the news started talking about a sea monster. The immigrant only understood about 60% of it, but here's what she said:

"An interesting creature was spotted along the coast of Japan from a fishing boat yesterday afternoon. The video is quite blurry, but the creature can be made out here—"

They paused the footage to draw a bright red circle around the center of the image, where there was an enormous greenish-blue face. With four eyes. And wild white hair.

And a gemstone for a nose.

Morganite's shuddering hand dropped her tangerine pencil.

They unpaused the video. The 'sea monster' caused a wave of angry, frothing water to come over the lip of the boat. Beneath the crew's panicked yelling, there was a familiar howl before another wall of upset ocean came onto the deck. After that, there was nothing but water spots on the cell phone lens and silent, horrified confusion.

The clip played again. And one more time after that.

"No one is exactly sure what this creature is, but experts are currently investigating—"

Morganite was entirely still. She could no longer understand what was being said. From the television, there was only static that could be transcribed in hiragana and intense waves of her own shock. The ex-aristocrat sucked in a breath. Her exhale came with a tidal wave. It spilled onto her cheeks and even onto the table. Her sketch turned into a water color painting as the fat parts of her palm smeared themselves across her face. Somewhere, in another dimension, rays of beautiful sun parted the black clouds of a hurricane.

Her dainty hands were soaked.

That intense moment of sun shine, however, was short lived. Morganite immediately set herself to the task of putting together a bag. She didn't need much. One 10,000 yen note. Her house keys. A few pieces of candy.

She organized her pencils, glancing through eyes fogged up with elated mist. Then she left the apartment and headed straight for the beach.


	3. Chapter 3

Jasper and Morganite were outside, training. The battle-hardened soldier was teaching the thick-browed bookworm to dance. They stopped for only a moment. The teacher had her hands on her hips and the student stood about a step away catching her breath.

The aristocrat looked up into the warrior's face.

"You're doing better." And the warrior looked down into hers.

"Do you really think so?" The sun caught her gem so she shimmered. But Morganite wasn't alone. Jasper's mass of silver-white hair was glittering. With those enormous hands, she pushed it back, away from her face, while her wild yellow eyes caught fire in the light.

The entire woman glowed.

"I do. Have you been practicing?"

"I try to. My other teachers give me so much homework sometimes. When I'm not doing that, Yellow Diamond sits with me and tells me about our history. I feel like I never leave the palace." Pause. "You've been a lot of places haven't you, Jasper?"

"I've been just about everywhere, kid. I fight in wars and conquer worlds."

"Wow!" But their gazes disconnected, and Morganite looked down to find her untarnished feet amongst the blades of grass. "Maybe one day, I'll get to go to some of the planets you've conquered. They have me study so many different languages. I might even be able to talk to the natives, assuming Yellow Diamond allows me to travel. I'm going to be one of her assistants after I graduate, you know."

"You should be thrilled. Many gems don't even get to meet any of the Diamonds throughout the course of their entire lives, and you'll probably get to know all of them." Jasper, too, had broken her gaze away from her student and crossed her muscular arms tightly over her chest. Her voice grew an edge of mild irritation. "I've only met Yellow Diamond and I've been scraping my way through the military for thousands of years."

"I could probably ask her to introduce you to the others, if you want."

"Don't."

"Why not? I'm sure you could sit with us one afternoon. Considering everything you've done for her, she shouldn't mind granting you a favor."

"Morganite, _stop_. Yellow Diamond doesn't owe me any favors. Not one. I've done what I've done out of loyalty and respect. I _will not_ have you tarnish that by asking her such a thing."

Silence. Morganite sighed. Then she reached out and took a few strands of the instructor's mane. It smelled entirely of the outdoors, and its texture seemed to be the result of so many years of battle, stress, and bloodshed. But as Morganite's fingers went up higher, it became a little softer.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm inspecting your hair. It's nice."

Jasper's face crinkled.

So did the aristocrat's mouth. And her small, elegant hands hung back at her sides.

"Let's go back to training. Go stand over there."

"Yes, ma'am."

The instructor went back to teaching her student new dance moves. On a few occasions, they even fused together to form Agate, with her four crazy eyes and various, contradictory desires. These included adventures and job security, pretty offices appointed by the Queen and medals won in battle. New and old sights. A chamber in the palace washed in Yellow Diamond's love and attention and a tiny house at the Homeworld military base that was a little more devoid of it.

Agate split herself apart and came back together again and again.

And at the end of the day, both gems went quietly home with nothing more to say.


	4. Chapter 4

Morganite had come to the beach. The ocean lapped at her ankles. The froth and the salt stuck to her legs, and slowly, she forced herself into the cold water, emptying her body of air so she could sink to the sea floor and try to locate the Warrior Queen.

And Lapis.

The little pink woman took in another breath and furrowed her huge brows only to empty her lungs again immediately.

She was in to the gem faceted to her chest; her champagne-colored heart.

Then her neck.

Morganite rolled her shoulders and glanced up to the sky. It was an afternoon with jolly clouds layered over a bright blue background. The waves came up to her jaw. And like a fool, Morganite drew in more air so she could speak a single promise and her mission statement:

"I'm going to find you. Even if it takes me months. Even if I have to fight every creature in this ocean. Even if it kills me, I'll find you."

The waves swallowed her whole. The last few bubbles of her promise popped above her head and Morganite went forward, summoning every shred of energy she had to bring her closer to Jasper.


	5. Chapter 5

A while after Morganite's graduation, she sat in her office and organized her papers. The pink gem had been there a long time, without having taken a break in several tenuous hours that had stretched the day into a lavender-colored evening. Streaks from the sun left sections of it dark red and bright orange.

The black sections of her eyes reflected the soft pastel sky.

Those serious brows furrowed.

 _Knock. Knock._

Morganite dropped her papers and caught them again. "Come in!"

The door opened and Jasper walked forward, filling up the office with her enormous presence. But then she kneeled down on one knee, crossed an arm over her chest and bowed.

"Ma'am. I'm here to file a report."

The aristocrat stood and added several wrinkles to her forehead. "Not you too." A sigh that was larger than either of them, and Morganite came over to the warrior queen and wrapped both of her small pink hands around just one of Jasper's. "I've been having a terrible day. You can't speak to me like this."

Wild golden eyes fell directly into Morganite's gaze.

"Get up."

The war goddess rose, and the opposite's slender arms dropped back to her sides.

"Sorry, Morganite. It's protocol. You outrank me now." Jasper growled a little bit, saying those words.

"I don't care. Don't you address me that way ever again. I hate it." An interruption in her breathing. A solid exhale before she moved back to her chair. Her fingers sank into her dark pink hair, and Morganite looked yet again at the sky, which had progressed just a little further into the night. "You're welcome to sit across from me, Jasper."

"Thank you, ma'am."

But before she could take a seat, Morganite slammed her open palm onto the desk, causing her piles and piles of papers to quake. " _Why?! Why are you calling me that?! What did I only just finished saying to you?!_ " Her eyes pinned daggers into Jasper's tangerine flesh. "You're never to call me _ma'am_ ever again! You can use my name, or—or you can call me Kid—" The sharp points of her irises were dulled by a small sea of tears. "I can't believe you would speak to me that way. _You_ , of all gems!"

Morganite turned away and cried into her heart lines.

"Hey, come on." Jasper came nearer and smeared up her superior's face with an enormous red hand. "Knock it off, okay?"

But having those familiar palms all over her just caused the river of her sentiments to open up into an ocean, and suddenly, those big, stupid eyes with those big, stupid eyelashes were even more soaked.

" _I said stop crying!_ " The edge of her crimson hand had stretched Morganite's eye entirely shut, with her light pink cheek bunched up to one side. "You're killing me, Kid!"

"I missed you, Jasper." The aristocrat rose and sank her face into the muscles of her former instructor's abdomen, just below her chest. Then her arms almost made it around the circumference of those curvy hips, but couldn't quite reach. It didn't really matter though, because the warrior scooped Morganite up and smashed her inside two incredibly strong arms.

Their cheeks touched.

And comparatively tiny feet dangled above the floor.

Slowly, Morganite's breathing became more stable. She even caught her former teacher's cheek with the fattest parts of her lips.

"You doing okay?"

"Yes, I'm better now. Thank you." A final squeeze, and the enormous woman set the little one back down.

They resumed their places across from one another.

Jasper cleared her throat. "You told me once that no one would listen to you. I bet they listen now."

Before she could reply, Morganite swallowed the aftermath of her outburst. "Yes. They do listen. Everyone listens to me very carefully. They're also respectful, but extremely distant. It makes me feel like I have even fewer friends."

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's not the yelling. I can handle the yelling. I hate the crying."

"Then I'm sorry for crying. It's just that I feel like I've been in here for days, trying to contend with all of these papers. It's lonesome most of the time. And when it's not lonesome, it's terribly formal, which makes it all even worse. So when you came in here—and you—" It was happening again. So Jasper scowled a little and glared from across that excellent desk, and Morganite immediately warped her expression and wiped out the coming tears with the back of her hand. "Sorry! I won't start crying. I just really need for you to never refer to me that way ever again. Please."

"I won't, if it upsets you that much."

"Thank you."

Then, a long moment passed in which the two gems simply looked at one another, and the light within the office became fainter and fainter. Morganite looked older somehow, and certainly much more official wearing a flattering black dress, marked with yellow diamonds down the front.

Slowly, they became two shadows in a realm of near darkness, but neither suggested turning on the lights.

The soldier filed her report and the bureaucrat listened, and the pair spoke to one another the way they had been for centuries. Somehow, the office became less like an office and the pain in Morganite's hand that resulted from its encounter with the desk faded.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been about two and a half weeks. Without clocks or calendars, it was difficult to keep track, but the sun had filled up the ocean and slowly filtered out of it at least 15 different times since she had began.

Everything came in cycles. The sea monsters. The sun. The visions.

The voices told her she was getting closer, but it was hard to know if they were telling the truth.

Morganite had not stopped swimming since she had begun. The only thing that stopped her was the occasional corrupted gems and the creatures that attempted to eat her. The ex-aristocrat summoned her rapiers and cut them to pieces if she had to, only to continue swimming on. Between each swipe of her exhausted pink limbs she gathered up her energy.

Morganite and Jasper and Lapis were all touching. The water molecules linked them together. It just required quite a bit of effort to figure out exactly where Malachite was and exactly where she was heading.

Every two hours or so, after absorbing energy from the entire universe and summoning every last drop of resolve she had accumulating in her heart, her gem would light up and show her the way.

An image of Jasper would appear. They were back on Homeworld, and the warrior goddess flexed her impressive muscles and pointed Morganite in the right direction. Sometimes, it was nothing more than those two golden eyes, glowing in the darkness like hot coals. Those dark red stripes stretched out like roads on the hot tangerine sand, and Morganite followed them.

Jasper called out her name. Again and again.

"Morganite."

Her beaten oar of an arm propelled her forward. The translucent, light pink fins she had grown were beaten by the current she fought.

The waves threatened to rip off her dorsal fin.

Her legs kicked, sore and tired, but kicked none-the-less.

"Morganite."

The vision was coming on, and the ocean was growing dark. To hide her glowing gem from the predators, she set a single webbed hand over it, the light peeking though the thin flesh between her slender fingers. They were really more suitable for holding pens and paint brushes.

Morganite's multi-colored eyes filled with a white guiding light.

" _I can't do it!"_

She and Jasper were in the middle of the desert. It was so bright outside from the two suns of that particular planet, that everything was situated in oppressive light.

The little pink gem herself was a canvas of bruises and dried blood, damaged from the rock face Jasper forced her to climb.

" _What's the point of this?! What does this have to do with anything?!"_

The warrior queen crossed her arms and listened.

" _I want to go home!"_

A staring contest. Morganite caught her breath.

" _You done?"_

Silence.

" _I already told you, we're not leaving until you can make it to the top. There are going to be times in your life where you'll have to get yourself out of a situation that seems impossible. You can whine about it; you can give up and die. But as long as I'm here, you're going to climb out of this gorge and you're going to do it with your own two hands. So quit complaining and keep on."_

" _But I'm already so exhausted!"_

" _Enough!_ You can!" Jasper's enormous red hand pointed forward, to a side of the mountain Morganite had yet to try.

The crimson path was coming back into sight.

" _Start over there. It should be easier."_

The aristocrat, whose drawing hand had been ruined by blisters, walked to the portion of the rock Jasper had indicated.

Then: " _I'll see you at the top!_ " The enormous woman leapt onto the jagged wall and continued her way up.

" _Jasper, come back!"_

" _You can do it, Morganite! You just have to stop being such a huge pansy all the time! And quit whining!"_

The light was fading.

" _Jasper!"_

Every molecule of her arms expressed pain.

" _Please_ , come back!"

The fading glow of her exhausted gem took away the few droplets of energy she had sacrificed to have that vision. The current picked up against her. Each muscle in her body cramped.

" _Jasper!"_

The little light that was left inside the passing water faded away. Now, every cubic meter of ocean was black as the night occurring above the unforgiving, frothing waves.

But Morganite kept swimming.

For there was a neon red path, illuminating before her.

It took the sting away from the frigid water.

And just for a moment, she opened her mouth to scream. Her vocal cords even vibrated some. But upon realizing how pointless it was, Morganite shut her chapped lips and continued rowing her arms and kicking her feet.


	7. Chapter 7

"See? I knew you could do it."

Morganite had scraped her way to the very top of that rock face. Her arms and legs were textured with violent gashes, and the little aristocrat who hardly ever left the sanctuary of Yellow Diamond's palace collapsed into the desert dirt.

Jasper moved from the foldable lawn chair she had brought with her and pulled her student to her feet by a slender pink wrist.

"How was it?"

Morganite's bloody knees bent and she nearly fell flat onto her stomach. The weight of her own body was practically too much, but those hazy ink black eyes with their few spots of color opened. They drunk in Jasper's face. The warrior still had the smaller one by the arm.

"It was hard wasn't it?"

The hot wind blew dust around the enormous gem's boots.

"Maybe it almost killed you. But you made it."

Then, her tangerine arm came under Morganite's legs and Jasper carried her back to the warp pad. As they went on, the girl's light pink cheek rested against the war goddess' orange chest, bunched up against surprisingly smooth skin while being supported by those sturdy arm muscles.

"I'm sorry I'm so weak."

Jasper stopped walking for a second.

"You are kind of weak."

Then she continued.

"But you're getting stronger all the time."

"Will I ever be as tough as you? You scaled that cliff in only a few minutes."

"Yeah, maybe. Just don't give up."

"You wouldn't let me." Morganite brought her lashes together and relaxed in the nook Jasper had made for her. At this point, the soldier was wearing some of the aristocrat's dark pink blood. Regardless, they carried on.

"Don't get too comfortable. You're going to walk again once we get back to Homeworld."

"Jasper, please." A set of those dark black, lacy lashes fluttered across the instructor's collar. "Can't you let me have this? You've never carried me before."

There was no response. They warped back through the stream of pale blue light, and Jasper took Morganite to the palace before setting her back on her beaten, wobbly feet again. Before the warrior left, the aristocrat reached out and wrapped her entire right hand around just two crimson fingers.

"Thank you, Jasper. I'll see you in a few days."

She gave a little squeeze.

"Yeah, see you then."


	8. Chapter 8

There was no lapse in between the visions. Morganite's consciousness was shared by Lapis and Jasper and their constant fighting in the blue-green darkness, drowning in salty water.

At first, there were only voices. Jasper's howling. Lapis yelling back. A fist fight of only a few seconds and then the quiet came immediately, as if it had been dropped out of fifty story window and made a terrible impact on the ground down below. The earth-shattering silence might be punctuated with Lapis breathing. With upset water. With a battle cry. With Jasper's shouting.

It all came in uneven frequencies, but Malachite's presence never really went away. She was always there, struggling. Those enormous legs would kick up some sand and Morganite followed her trail.

In the immense space between them, the little pink one could make out two figures.

And it was becoming more and more difficult to tell who the pain belonged to.

There was more yelling. More biting and clawing. Violence. Silence. Again.

The rowing of Morganite's arms synched up with the eruptions, which became louder and louder with each stroke. The translucent pink fins she had made were gaining tears like abused tissue paper. Her ruined muscles inflicted bruises upon themselves. Rainbow eyes were saturated red and her ears imploded from the pressure and the fighting. But somewhere, in the vast difference between all three of their souls was the war goddess and her tenacity.

So Morganite kept drawing closer until those little figures grew distinct colors and shapes.

Familiar silhouettes.

Facial features.

Four enormous eyes and a head of wild white hair.

Morganite froze for only a moment. It must have lasted about 124 seconds.

Coming from that enormous creature was a communal screaming birthed from hatred and bitter, bitter anger. There were bands of power drawn in the sand around her. And the ex-aristocrat—with all of _her_ tenacity—was small. Her beautiful rapiers were toothpicks and every single fiber of her wretched, outcast being was nothing more than a contribution to the overall pain.

And yet, Jasper was calling out again, screaming obscenities at the water witch. She used her muscles, which were bruised up and torn to shreds, only to lose for the thousandth time. Lapis kept her as their fusion's subconscious. But soon enough there would be a one thousand and first time, and then a one thousand and second, and a third after that.

Morganite swam forward. When Malachite saw her, there was another battle that practically cleaved her face in two. All of her limbs thrashed and kicked up a cloud of wild sand, in which her right arms got a hold of the temporary mermaid and crushed her in a stern grip.

They moved to the surface waves.

Malachite held Morganite in front of her face and she pumped her enormous lungs full of air to shout.

"What are you doing here?!" And then in a familiar voice: "Morganite! You're—" A struggle. "Answer the question!"

"Lapis Lazuli! I demand you release Jasper this instant! I've tracked you down and I—"

But the ex-aristocrat was squeezed into silence.

"You should really learn to mind your own business. You have no idea what's happened and how bad it would be if Jasper escaped. Go back to wherever you came from so I don't have to kill you."

On the inside, the warrior emerged again from the murky waters of Malachite's subconscious and Lapis was pulled under. The enormous woman caught her breath. "Morganite, please! Get me out of here!" The grip around the champagne pink gem slackened. "You have to fight her! I'll do the best that I can to help you—! Her gem is on our back, it's—"

Again, Malachite's grip tightened. "You won't win! I have the entire ocean with me right here, and I don't want to kill you, Morganite. Go home! _You need to leave._ "

"Lapis, how could you do this to her?!" The faux mermaid managed a little freedom and sucked in a chest full of salty air. "Do you not realize that you're doing the same thing to Jasper that the Crystal Gems did to you?! You're both absolutely miserable! I'm begging you, please! Let her go! I don't want to fight you, but I will if you leave me no other choice!"

"And what if I hand her over?! Do you honestly think she's going to stay with you on this miserable planet?! _She won't!_ "

" _Lapis!_ "

" _Stop!_ I can't have you distracting me any longer! Forget about Jasper and go away!"

"I shouldn't have helped you, if this is what you're willing to do! You've become a monster! And we'll stop you if that's what we have to do!"

Malachite collapsed Morganite's lungs.

"You're absolutely right. I am a monster. I'm a four-eyed, four legged monster. But I'm not Lapis Lazuli anymore. If you think you can kill me, then you better get to it!" That blue-green arm lifted like a catapult into the air and threatened to send Morganite skipping continents away. But it halted, and through the flesh on Malachite's palm, the faux mermaid felt the constant battle for control.

"No! Stop! I won't! Not until you let me out of here! Morganite! Use your swords to break her gem!"

The grip around the refugee loosened enough to allow her free, and with her entire body shaking, Morganite slid down Malachite's arms and jumped onto her shoulder. But the fighting between Lapis and Jasper was so intense that the ocean was thrashing all around them, and Morganite's little pink feet could hardly maintain a steady balance.

So she summoned her deux rapiers and plunged both points into the beast's flesh, holding on with what strength she had left. Two pools of dark green blood began around the puncture wounds and Malachite's defeating cries nearly broke the ex-aristocrat's ear drums.

All of a sudden they were going underwater again, with those long blue-green limbs making tsunamis on the way down.

 _Morganite, you have to get closer!_

 _You two aren't going to win!_

Malachite grabbed Morganite by the legs in an attempt to remove the champagne pink gem from her body but the refugee did not let go. Her thin arms nearly snapped, but her fingers remained linked around the handles of her swords until the power struggle began again.

While Malachite beat herself to a bloody pulp, Morganite kept pulling out rapiers and plunging them into the monster's sinews. With each blade that went in, a hazy trail of dark blood came flowing out into the deep green ocean water and Morganite crawled a step closer to Lapis' gem.

The pain affected both parties. A silent underwater howl permeated the marrow of Morganite's theoretical bones, and from the molecules of Malachite's skin, the ex-aristocrat was privy to each wretched sensation she felt. Despite the agony, the warrior queen and the water witch continued to go at it, drowning the inside of their mind with crimson and royal blue ink.

 _Morganite, keep going! You're doing great!_

 _Don't you speak to her!_

Malachite reached even further back this time and grabbed a hold of Morganite's second half.

 _Get off of me!_

With desperate strength she pulled.

 _Did you not hear me when I said—_

And with desperate strength, Morganite held on.

 _Go home?!_

Snap.

The refugee's right shoulder dislocated, and in the mind numbing pain, her set of left fingers let go of the handle. From blurry eyes, she saw her sword shine beneath the water and distorted rays of the sun.

Once again, her chest was collapsed inside the monster's savage grip. All three of them were heading back to the surface. In what little space she had, Morganite struggled. She kicked her legs and wiggled her shoulders, but the grip around her provided no give. Once again, Malachite lifted the comparatively tiny woman into the air to skip her like a stone across the waves, but merely succeeded in dropping her.

The pink gem rode her descent into the frothing waters and did her best to swim nearer to that blue-green sea monster. With both legs, she kicked as hard as she could. But with only a single working arm, she quickly became directionless and gradually sank lower to the ocean floor.

Meters away from her, Malachite dyed the waters an even darker shade of green with her escaping blood and her muscles contorted in ways they should not have. Those four arms broke themselves only to snap back into place with the motions and pace of a seizure. Her face pulled apart and came back together. More screaming Morganite did not hear or feel because they were not touching.

The pink mermaid landed on her feet in the pliable sand.

And Malachite swam to her, scooping her up with her bottom left arm. Each of those fingers were gentle with her, and her eyes widened upon observing her dislocated shoulder.

 _What did she do to you?!_

A fingerprint brushed past her ruined arm and Morganite swallowed lungfuls of water. Her consciousness became a bright white burst, but the little warrior kept her focus.

 _I'll murder her for this!_

Morganite pointed to Malachite's back.

 _Can you go on?_

The refugee nodded.

 _Okay, do it!_

Jasper had given Morganite an excellent shot at Lapis' gem and with her left hand the ex-aristocrat pulled out a small dagger and plunged it deep into the space a few millimeters off from that royal blue stone.

The warrior queen shouted in pain as Morganite awkwardly pulled the blade downwards and out. With an unsteady grip, she grabbed Lapis' gem and began to pull as hard as she could while the flesh around the rock's edges phased into a blinding white light.

 _What are you doing?! Just stab her!_

But Jasper was sucked beneath the waves yet again and the gem was pulled directly from Morganite's hand. A rush of water came around the small pink woman that became a heavy set of chains.

Malachite pinned Morganite to the ocean floor. Each one of her limbs sank beneath the links and the refugee was unable to move, save for the incontrollable shaking. Every time she twitched an arm or a leg in a futile attempt to get out, the chains grew tighter, and soon she was trapped beneath an enormous hand.

 _You couldn't just go away!_

Silence inside the wild sea monster. From those four enormous eyes, Lapis stared down at the ex-aristocrat. Those blue-black eyes acquired a layer of water. And for a long time, Lapis used Malachite like a glove and held the small pink woman down.

Frequent interruptions came from Jasper's internal thrashing. She caused the little lake occupying Malachite's head to swell with chaotic waves, but did not manage to break through again.

Lapis spent a lot of her energy keeping her down.

 _Jasper doesn't want me to kill you_.

Malachite squeezed hard and took Morganite out of the sand.

 _But I don't think I have a choice._

The pressure became even worse. The sea monster stared at the faux mermaid with solemn eyes and a bent-up mouth and squeezed and squeezed. Morganite's ribs bent inward they threatened to pierce her lungs all while the champagne pink gem quietly screamed and kicked her legs. 

She and Malachite still stared at one another.

And even though it would have been impossible to tell otherwise, their fusion was crying.

A few of Morganite's ribs cracked.

She was about to disappear.


	9. Chapter 9

"Morganite, come a little closer, won't you?"

"Yes, Yellow Diamond."

The Queen of Cruelty was dressed exquisitely. She sparkled beneath all the lights in the palace and graced the floor with the lace of her gown. Morganite bowed before her, those ink black eyes sliding along the tiles until she found that lovely figure, though, her head remained bowed low.

"Did you know you turned a century old today?" A few of those elegant, brilliant fingers caught the ends of her dark pink hair. "Maybe it sounds a little absurd, but it seems to me that you're looking more and more mature all the time. It must be the way you carry yourself."

"Thank you so much, Madame." Morganite bowed even lower.

"You're welcome to stand, little one. No need to drill yourself into the ground."

So she did. Their gazes still did not meet.

"In order to commemorate this occasion of sorts, I'd like to give you a present. I'm going to tell you now that it's not the most conventional of gifts, but I think you'll come to appreciate it nonetheless. Now close your eyes."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Then there were those fingers. A thumb print sat on her left eyelid while the tip of her index finger covered Morganite's right lid. There was a nervous fluttering of the pink one's lashes, but she crinkled her lips and held her tongue.

Yellow Diamond's other hand sat upon her shoulder, near her neck.

"I said this isn't a conventional gift; it's going to hurt. Are you ready?"

Morganite's breath hitched in her throat. She adjusted her jaw and reeled in a gasp that had tried to escape. "Yes Ma'am. I'm ready."

"Good."

Then there were shockwaves of energy that filled her eyes and then moved into her face and then to the rest of her body. The power Yellow Diamond had jolted her with circled around her gem and soon disappeared into it, sending Morganite collapsing onto the floor and thrashing with a hard seizure.

Her light pink stone grew a little peachier, and with bloody eyes, Morganite dared to look up at Yellow Diamond, who watched her from that enormous throne. She was saying something to one of the guards at her side, who scooped Morganite up and brought her back to her room.

The aristocrat lied on her fainting couch for days. Sometimes the pain became intense enough so that her body evaporated into a cloud of smoke. But whenever she regenerated, the hurting had not stopped. The blood had simply been cleared from her ink black irises.

Yellow Diamond came in to visit and immediately held her by the jaw, examining her eyes. Brows furrowed. The Queen's perfect lips creased. In fact, she let out a sigh.

"You haven't gained even one color yet, Morganite. I can see where the lines are drawn. One, two, three. Yes, seven slots. But where are my colors?"

"Colors, Madame?"

"Yes! _Colors!_ Can you at least feel them coming in?"

The little aristocrat took in a labored breath. "I don't know, Ma'am. I can only feel pain."

"Hmm." The Queen rose to her feet, elegant fabrics moving in a lovely whirlwind around her. And again, she produced a cultivated sigh. "What am I to do with you? Please let me know if they develop." With that, she began to walk away.

"Madame, please wait! Perhaps you can try again!"

Yellow Diamond turned. And grinned. "Oh Dear, don't be a fool. There's no way you could possibly handle it."

And just like that, Morganite was alone, again, screaming silently into the cold air around her, making bloody tears that pulled at the edges of her defective eyes.

 _I've failed you. I've failed everyone. How can I go one knowing that—_

 _Give it some time. Maybe—_

 _No! I'm sure of it. I'm useless. I'm completely, utterly, unequivocally useless._

 _Come on now. No one's_ that _useless._

The water was coming back.

 _Jasper, I'm sorry._

"Morganite!"


	10. Chapter 10

_Morganite!_

Malachite stopped her attempt to turn the refugee's ribcage to chalk. Now she was supported by two enormous hands instead of only one, with her head settling upon the fatty pillow of a palm.

 _This isn't working._

Pause. Those rainbow eyes opened.

 _You have to fuse with us. I need you to be here._

Morganite managed a nod.

 _It's Hell. I'm warning you._

The ex-aristocrat lifted her cracked torso and mouthed out the words 'I know.' Her legs shook due to a current of exhaustion and terror. But she managed to stay standing. Malachite looked at her, and she looked back, making the words 'I'm ready.'

And between the music that existed between Morganite and Jasper's vibrating atoms, they danced, swaying in waves that swung them around like puppets. Morganite moved her broken body with the water and Jasper got Malachite to move her enormous arms.

There was a flash of light.

Malachite became Bloodstone.

And Morganite was dropped into the center of a pool of misery. Upon touching that stagnant water, she learned of every indiscretion. Every fist thrown in rage. Every bone shattered. Every jaw broken. Every drop of agony and wretched burden that came with being Malachite. Her own pain and longing had taken this place and this river from blue green to bloody burgundy.

And yet—

"Morganite!"

Jasper came and pulled her out of the water, with the chains attached to her arms and legs rattling.

They were touching one another again. Really and actually connecting the skin of _their_ bodies. She wasn't Jasper—The Warrior Goddess and conquer of worlds—through an ocean or a nightmare or Malachite's lefts arms. Those enormous hands held Morganite beneath the shoulders, above the tortured pool.

That little pink loser started to cry. "Oh, Jasper. I'm so sorry! I missed you! You look terrible! Thank you so much for everything!"

"I couldn't protect you—"

"No, you've done so well! Thank you—"

The red-orange warrior queen had bags beneath her eyes that went on for days, and her body was covered with indecent scratches that were an affront to her beauty. Her clothing was torn. Her hair was soaked through with salt and anger, but Morganite welled up and overflowed none-the-less. Those skinny pink fingers—the set on the left hand—even managed to reach out and catch the goddess's solemn tears. And she pulled Morganite in closer, supporting her little frame with two enormous arms.

But in only a few seconds, the largest gem of the three of them was pulled under, and Morganite went crashing into the waves again, but did not break the surface.

" _Jasper!_ "

"Morganite, be quiet. I'm sure she'll make her way out again soon."

The ex-aristocrat scrambled to her feet, and there was Lapis. Dress torn. Chains. Exhaustion.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?"

A staring contest that created electricity between either of their pupils. Morganite did not speak; Lapis continued to confront her with a royal blue glare.

"Of course you don't. If you did, you wouldn't have done it." The water witch sighed. "I know you're trapped here like the rest of us. And I'm sorry for that. But if you think she's going to stay with you for your entire exile, you're wrong. She'll get bored, and she'll try to kill Steven, and—" Lapis threw up her hands and made violent waves. "Why?! Why did you have to find us?! _You've ruined everything I've been working so hard for! You idiot! You moron! You—you—_ "

The blood jumped up in waves and Lapis wept into her palms. And as Morganite took a few steps closer, she evened out that dark red fluid, her heart glowing. On the outside, Bloodstone flailed her arms in a panic and slowly calmed back down.

" _Don't you touch me! Stay away!_ "

"Lapis, all three of us are already connected. The distance between us is just an illusion. So may I please pretend to come closer?"

Lapis did not reply; she only wept. So Morganite closed the false distance between them. Without putting her one functional arm out to connect their theoretical skin, she sat next to her counterpart in that murky pool. They remained that way for several minutes. Jasper made waves beneath the surface, and Bloodstone sat with her four arms and six legs in a meditative trance.

Lapis wiped her face. "Do you still plan on taking her, even though you know my thoughts?"

Morganite furrowed her brows. "Of course."

"How could you?!"

"Lapis, how much longer do you really think you could keep this up? Look at you! _You're exhausted!_ She wouldn't let up for a minute, and I don't need to read your mind to know that. This fusion you've forced onto her is volatile, and I understand why you did it. But you should be lucky I stepped in when I did. You could have both died—" The ex-noble swallowed.

"Don't you think I know that already?"

" _Lapis._ "

"I don't understand why you care about her so much! You came _all_ this way and did _all_ this fighting! _For her?_ "

"Absolutely!"

" _But why?!_ "

"Because I—" Morganite boiled dark pink. "Maybe if you spent this time getting to know one another you would understand. I've known her most of my life. And by the way, it doesn't matter if she won't stay with me after all this. The only reason I need to come out here and help her escape is the fact that she's suffering! What she does with her freedom is _her_ business! _Because that's what you do when you care about someone! You put their happiness above your own!_ Even if I'm stuck on this stupid planet with absolutely no one, I can't bear to know that Jasper is here, miserable, without anyone to help her! I owe her my life and I _won't_ see her treated this way! _Do you get it now?_ "

Morganite stared at Lapis, and Lapis stared back. But then the royal blue gem looked away. A sigh escaped her tattered blue body. "Yes. I get it. I really, _really_ get it." Photographs of Steven. They passed in milliseconds, but the evidence of those images rested within the nooks and crannies of Morganite's fingerprints. "Well, if you're going to go, _go_. Get out of my sight. I never want to see either of you again. But please. Don't let her hurt Steven." Lapis stood and turned her back to the refugee, who also came to her feet and reached out her hand. But her finger tips did not connect with that beaten blue shoulder. Then the Water Witch turned again and met Morganite in a stare. "Give me your word."

Morganite lowered her hand. "I won't let her hurt Steven. I promise."

"Good. Now go."

Bloodstone's six eyes started to disconnect, and the pool within her began to drain. The soldier appeared above the crashing tides and the little pink gem came and wrapped her left arm around Jasper's waist.

"We're out! Lapis is letting you go!"

" _What?_ How did you—"

But before the two could speak to one another anymore, their demonic, sharp-toothed fusion fell apart. Bloodstone turned back into violent, piercing light that illuminated the ocean's floor—and from it emerged Lapis and Agate.

The four armed Queen of Disaster only had two black and golden eyes this time.

She summoned her weapon immediately. Morganite's two swords and Jasper' bright orange crash helmet came together to make an enormous, glittering sledge hammer. Agate held it high above her head, with Lapis directly below the potential impact of one of its faces.

But the hammer did not swing.

Agate merely stood there in her banded glory, staring down at Lapis who looked directly back up at her.

Inside Jasper's fury was Morganite's patience, and it ended with a conversation that left Agate's hammer suspended above her head. With her top arms shaking, she lowered her instrument of destruction. A sigh escaped that translated into numerous bubbles.

Lapis turned and began to swim away.

"This is not how I wanted to come back!"

But the sound waves did not work well underwater. Agate strummed her vocal chords for no one other than herself. And with every last fiber of strength left in her enormous body, she turned around and began to walk. With her top and bottom left arms, she fixed her bottom right arm back into its socket and swam in her own direction, away from where Malachite had been, away from where Bloodstone had been. Away from the agony and hatred left to cook for months in that saltwater prison and away from the horrendous bomb that somehow managed not to explode.

Her crimson rage soon faded into a light pink relief, and Agate moved towards land.

And somewhere else, now quite a ways away, Lapis turned and clenched and unclenched her blistered hands.


	11. Chapter 11

Agate collapsed into the flat part of a mountain top. Just for a few moments, she remained exactly the way she was, all her arms help close to her body and her face resting in the cool grass growing in patches amongst the untouched soil.

She breathed in deeply. She laughed. She cried. Her bottom pair of arms wrapped around her hurting ribcage while the top pair took the tears from her eyes.

Through the bliss and the blinding water, Agate spoke: "I did it. I really did it." Her smile beamed. "It's good to be back together." Then the queen wept and gently came apart into a little pink woman and a big orange one.

Even though the boundaries of their bodies were well defined, they still held one another as if they were one entity. Jasper lied on her back with Morganite filling in her empty spaces, and with those black and rainbow eyes, the smaller stared directly into the larger gem's face.

Her emotions came up and rushed out. Every single one of them at once. And all she could manage was: "Oh, Jasper."

Morganite's ribcage was nothing more than an excuse for excruciating pain. But it was so good to be in those strong arms again, and so good to know that the warrior queen's chains had been abolished. So those spent arms held onto the red-orange gem beneath her as best they could.

All this while that tangerine mouth got whatever parts of Morganite's face it could.

"Thank you!"

Her cheeks.

"Thank you!"

Her nose.

"Thank you!"

Her thick brows.

"Thank you!"

Her lips, through which they remained connected a long time. The pair even exchanged taste buds. Eventually, they separated with a little pop and Jasper was breathing hard, shedding solemn tears and dipping into the refugee's eyes.

"Hey." Elegant rose fingers came and caught Jasper's liquid sorrow.

The soldier inhaled a sharp breath.

Morganite kissed her cheek. In response, Jasper threw her head to the side.

"You've gone through such an ordeal." _Touch._ "And you know that I would never, ever judge you for feeling the way you do." _Touch._ "You don't have to bother hiding your emotions from me." Morganite's mouth moved a bit closer to Jasper's lips. "So go ahead. Let it out."

"Will you shut up? I don't—" But then her face contorted into shapes she wasn't used to, and the floodgates broke and Jasper was sobbing. Those big hands pulled Morganite in even closer, and the torture and hatred and suffering were expelled from her in boiling tears and hard breaths. Their cheeks were touching, and Morganite's face was buried in Jasper's wild white hair. And because the warrior queen was crying, her attendant began crying too.

So they lay in a pile together, as a singular, enormous hot mess, and made horrible noises and expressed every feeling either of them had ever felt. Occasionally, one would calm down and kiss the other, and there were a few moments where both were quiet. But somewhere inside the mess they created, one would begin again, and soon after, so would the other until it was all expelled and all of the energy had really and truly been spent.

The sun was beginning to set.

Morganite sluggishly crashed her lips into Jasper's neck. Her lashes brushed against her jaw-line and turned that tangerine face darker orange.

"I'm going to recover for a while, okay?"

"Sure. I think I will too."

Pause.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for everything." Another slow, slow kiss.

"I owe you one, Morganite."

"No, you don't. I did it for you and I would do it again." Now their mouths made friends and hesitated to move apart. "I'll see you in a while."

"See you."

And Morganite became a cloud of pink smoke, her gem falling upon Jasper's chest. Once again, those strong hands covered her up in a blanket of heart lines.

Then after a few minutes, Jasper too disappeared and their gems lied next to one another amongst all the stones on that mountain, along with the soil and grass they had flattened over the course of several hours.

The wild colors of the sunset phased out of the sky.

And both gem warriors were bathed in moonlight.


	12. Chapter 12

Morganite brought Jasper home, and the warrior queen agreed to stay as long as she could, with iterations of unfinished business and Crystal Losers. And with her former instructor's presence, the raincloud that tended to chase Morganite around was torched beneath Jasper's bright orange rays. You could even say that she glowed inside the war goddess' fire.

About a month in, Morganite brought Jasper to a field of flowers and set her enormous body inside it. The sun was setting and its ephemeral light breathed pastels across the canvas of the sky. The twilight dyed the clouds passionate red and tangerine with gold and pink and lavender occupying the background.

Morganite's fingers organized patches of Jasper's wild hair and slotted a flower into it. And the soldier allowed it, sitting with her arms crossed as her eyes delving into the painted up heavens.

Those little pink prints felt a kind of restlessness beneath that light orange skin.

"Jasper, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I was just thinking—you mentioned you had some revenge to exact on those Crystal Losers. Is that something I could help you with?" The refugee picked another flower and planted its stem into Jasper's mane. She even stopped to press her lips against one of those handsome red stripes. "I'd love to show them what a _real_ fusion looks like."

Jasper, for a moment, looked into her counterpart's face, and then at her battle scars. Since regenerating, Morganite had acquired some markings herself. Though, hers were dark pink. Along her ribcage were two identical imperfections that sat perfectly across from one another, and then a single scratch that ran along her right shoulder. That was the one that Jasper frequently reached out to touch. Then those huge fingers would slide down Morganite's slender arm and they would end up holding hands.

But as for right now, her intimidating palms had found places upon Morganite's hips.

"Well, what do you say? May I please come with you?"

In response, the big orange woman tugged a flower out by the roots and laid it delicately on top of Morganite's head. "Yeah. I like that idea. Let's go tear them apart."

The ex-aristocrat laughed and glowed a bright and happy pink from the heart faceted to her chest. And the warrior queen pushed their mouths together, and pinned Morganite to the ground. Their bodies came even closer together when two newly muscular pink legs came and tied themselves around the queen's curves. Her mane of white and flowers descended upon both of them like a veil, and inside it, the two broke apart for a second to look into one another's faces.

On the outside, their shadows fused together into a crown.

It was overwhelming.

Jasper kissed Morganite's cheek. In response, she threw her head to the side. A couple hard breaths inflated her lungs to full capacity.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just—" Gasp. And Morganite shimmered even brighter beneath that golden stare. "I'm so happy—"

"Look at you, you little loser." Jasper's hand came and tugged Morganite's eye shut in an attempt to catch the tears. "Go ahead and cry. It's what you do all the time anyway." Then those plump tangerine lips got her on the cheek. Her kiss was punctuated with an exclamation point in the form of a tiny bite.

"Jasper! No I don't—!"

But the refugee was leaking again and the soldier was laughing at her. And in those few moments that only composed fractions of their entire lives, they sat in the field of flowers and held one another. They laughed and cried like fools. And as the sun truly set and all the shadows faded into one all consuming night, it became harder and harder to tell where Morganite ended and where Jasper began.


End file.
